Woo hoo update :D
So during the past 2 weeks of holidays ( School just started today... ) i've been busy with 2 main things.
1. TKD orientation camp!
2. Fund raising!
Man those 2 made my holidays fly so fast :(
Although i must say i had a few interesting nights in there that made it quite worthwhile :)
Anyway, exciting week coming up! Going to be sparring 3 times, with one time against Temasek Polytechnic! Im quite excited... although i hope i won't lose.
Well, going in for a learning experience i guess... HAHAHAAHA.
And i found this quote today on a friend's personal message on msn that cheered me up a little.
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't give their all to love you."
Something so obvious that i missed, well, glad i found it!
That's all for now!
Monday, 27 June 2011
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
To Hell and back.
That's how far i'm going to go with everything important in my life from now on.
Nothing less.
But sometimes, i feel like i can't do anything at all...
And so i wait.
Nothing less.
But sometimes, i feel like i can't do anything at all...
And so i wait.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Like a train wreck in motion...
I'm really afraid of what comes after.
I really don't know what to feel now.
I guess i wished i never said anything in the first place.
Because it sucks when answers are never longer then one word.
I still don't understand much... sigh.
I just want to sleep. I don't want to think about it. Even though i know i will.
I really don't know what to feel now.
I guess i wished i never said anything in the first place.
Because it sucks when answers are never longer then one word.
I still don't understand much... sigh.
I just want to sleep. I don't want to think about it. Even though i know i will.
Sunday, 5 June 2011
Friday, 27 May 2011
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Smile.
Because it is the best way to hide.
Because it is the best way to lie.
So that people stop asking.
So that people think they know.
Even when you're on your last legs.
Even when it kills you inside.
Just pretend you are fine.
Just put on a smile...
Know that i am sorry.
And i know i am asking too much.
But if you would talk to me again.
Know that this face is true.
Because it is the best way to lie.
So that people stop asking.
So that people think they know.
Even when you're on your last legs.
Even when it kills you inside.
Just pretend you are fine.
Just put on a smile...
Know that i am sorry.
And i know i am asking too much.
But if you would talk to me again.
Know that this face is true.
Monday, 23 May 2011
Decisions.
In life, there are these things called decisions to be made.
In fact, your life has been made up of the many decisions you have chosen for yourself.
Some decisions are made purely by your own choice. The easy ones. Such as...
"Should i eat this cake?... but i don't want to get fat.."
"Should i go for a run?... but im tired.."
"Should i study?...meh, lazy.."
These type of decisions, easily decidable in your own mind. Or if you have a little bit of trouble,your friends will easily give a little push to one decision and make it the winner.
But there are some decisions in life that you just can't just make on the spot.
Decisions where you feel conflicted about what to do.
That feeling of not wanting to give up just yet, in the hopes that your decision will lead to something better.
A risk taken so that you will be able to get what you really want.
Fear limits us, but fear is only fear if we let it be.
In fact, your life has been made up of the many decisions you have chosen for yourself.
Some decisions are made purely by your own choice. The easy ones. Such as...
"Should i eat this cake?... but i don't want to get fat.."
"Should i go for a run?... but im tired.."
"Should i study?...meh, lazy.."
These type of decisions, easily decidable in your own mind. Or if you have a little bit of trouble,your friends will easily give a little push to one decision and make it the winner.
But there are some decisions in life that you just can't just make on the spot.
Decisions where you feel conflicted about what to do.
That feeling of not wanting to give up just yet, in the hopes that your decision will lead to something better.
A risk taken so that you will be able to get what you really want.
Fear limits us, but fear is only fear if we let it be.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Why TKD?
Why i chose Taekwondo as a CCA, or why i like it.
-Smacking targets around gives me a place to vent. When i hear the sound of the target getting hit, the feeling on my foot, then i get to yell. How is that not an efficient cooling off method?
-A place to exhaust all my worries, my fears and just allow me to not think about things because the training is tough enough to get me to focus.
-I get a good night's sleep as i'm so tired after training.
-Lose weight in a way i enjoy(LOL!)
-I feel like im actually good at something. And people praise me for it.
-I am happy doing it. I actually have something to look forward to during the week.
-I get to fight. I enjoy it(even if i still have room for improvement)! When i feel the pain or when i hit someone and they get knocked backed a little, i know i am still alive. Alive enough to feel and cause pain.
-Teaches me that hard work eventually gets me somewhere. Discipline too.
-Smacking targets around gives me a place to vent. When i hear the sound of the target getting hit, the feeling on my foot, then i get to yell. How is that not an efficient cooling off method?
-A place to exhaust all my worries, my fears and just allow me to not think about things because the training is tough enough to get me to focus.
-I get a good night's sleep as i'm so tired after training.
-Lose weight in a way i enjoy(LOL!)
-I feel like im actually good at something. And people praise me for it.
-I am happy doing it. I actually have something to look forward to during the week.
-I get to fight. I enjoy it(even if i still have room for improvement)! When i feel the pain or when i hit someone and they get knocked backed a little, i know i am still alive. Alive enough to feel and cause pain.
-Teaches me that hard work eventually gets me somewhere. Discipline too.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Dreams.
When people ask me what i want to be. I always tell them things like psychologist, social worker, youth worker.
But deep down inside my dream is to be one of these people...
http://www.vimeo.com/22673282
Yes, i dream to be a Pro Gamer.
One of those lucky few that can live their life off playing video games. Doing what they enjoy!
Now that is in the realm of AWESOME. Doing what you love for a living!
That's the way Life should be!
Could be.
Will never be.
-sadface-
But deep down inside my dream is to be one of these people...
http://www.vimeo.com/22673282
Yes, i dream to be a Pro Gamer.
One of those lucky few that can live their life off playing video games. Doing what they enjoy!
Now that is in the realm of AWESOME. Doing what you love for a living!
That's the way Life should be!
Could be.
Will never be.
-sadface-
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Life sucks.
Let's all face it, Life is really just fucked up sometimes.
One day you meet the prettiest girl in your life. You two become the best of friends. You guys talk everyday.
But.
One day, Life happens. She stops talking to you. You try to understand why she does it but she denies every opportunity to talk. She then flies overseas and you two never talk again. Such is Life.
How is that fair?
People keep telling me everything Life throws at us is for a reason. Well what kind of fucked up reasoning is that?
A person that has been a SAINT for their entire life can still end up in a fatal car crash the very next day.
What reason does life have for that?
-Start Rant-
Sometimes i give up. This is one of those times.
That i want to just throw in the towel and leave everything as it is.
I'm so tired of everything that i just want to take a break.
But not matter how much i sleep it is not ENOUGH.
I wake up every morning only to be as tired from last night.
I ask myself why these thoughts just won't stop bothering me.
I would ask someone to listen, but that never works.
Because eventually, even the nicest person will say "You have to rely on yourself","Make your own decision",etc. But sometimes i am DRAINED. I DON'T KNOW.
I have trusted in many things in life, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.
I am seriously PISSED that something i care about right now isn't working.
Who can i really confide in? No one. Because no one will listen. No one will care. And No one will give half a fuck.
And still, Life goes on. As clueless and insufferable as the person next to me on an MRT ride.
-End Rant-
I'm done thinking about all these thoughts, tomorrow after a chat with my lecturer i promise i'll try to be a better person.
I'll stop falling asleep in class.
I'll stop being so emo.
And yet i don't know if this is really just how i should be like.
Quiet, private, lonely.
Sometimes i really do feel better being like that.
But i can't deny that having a few friends is a good thing.
Although the ones i have are few, they are people i can talk to without having to keep my guard up and pretend that i am constantly on laughing gas.
I hate myself.
So two-faced.
So disgusting.
Sometimes i feel that's all i've learnt about myself since i stepped into my course of study in NYP.
If anyone is reading this, would they really say something beyond "QC, cheer up!" ?
Whatever Life, continue being ironic.
One day you meet the prettiest girl in your life. You two become the best of friends. You guys talk everyday.
But.
One day, Life happens. She stops talking to you. You try to understand why she does it but she denies every opportunity to talk. She then flies overseas and you two never talk again. Such is Life.
How is that fair?
People keep telling me everything Life throws at us is for a reason. Well what kind of fucked up reasoning is that?
A person that has been a SAINT for their entire life can still end up in a fatal car crash the very next day.
What reason does life have for that?
-Start Rant-
Sometimes i give up. This is one of those times.
That i want to just throw in the towel and leave everything as it is.
I'm so tired of everything that i just want to take a break.
But not matter how much i sleep it is not ENOUGH.
I wake up every morning only to be as tired from last night.
I ask myself why these thoughts just won't stop bothering me.
I would ask someone to listen, but that never works.
Because eventually, even the nicest person will say "You have to rely on yourself","Make your own decision",etc. But sometimes i am DRAINED. I DON'T KNOW.
I have trusted in many things in life, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.
I am seriously PISSED that something i care about right now isn't working.
Who can i really confide in? No one. Because no one will listen. No one will care. And No one will give half a fuck.
And still, Life goes on. As clueless and insufferable as the person next to me on an MRT ride.
-End Rant-
I'm done thinking about all these thoughts, tomorrow after a chat with my lecturer i promise i'll try to be a better person.
I'll stop falling asleep in class.
I'll stop being so emo.
And yet i don't know if this is really just how i should be like.
Quiet, private, lonely.
Sometimes i really do feel better being like that.
But i can't deny that having a few friends is a good thing.
Although the ones i have are few, they are people i can talk to without having to keep my guard up and pretend that i am constantly on laughing gas.
I hate myself.
So two-faced.
So disgusting.
Sometimes i feel that's all i've learnt about myself since i stepped into my course of study in NYP.
If anyone is reading this, would they really say something beyond "QC, cheer up!" ?
Whatever Life, continue being ironic.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Holiday!
Today,i finally learnt how to ride a bike! (With the help of a few friends!)
-Crowd cheer!-
What an awesome experience, although it could have been better if it wasn't a public holiday... Kept nearly crashing into people >_<
But learning how to ride a bike is like learning how to work hard the right way...
1. You must give yourself a kick off the ground.
2. You must take the second step.
3. You must keep balance.
4. You must always look forward to your goal.
How awesome is that? haha!
After having fun at East Coast Park i hurried down to City Hall to meet up with another bunch of people.
Played board games and ate at JustAcia. Plenty of entertainment for the night!
Tiring day... but it does help to keep my mind off things. Tomorrow i'll be playing Tchoukball again! Hope i can learn a few things before heading down to play with those kids from APS!
Sigh, i've been feeling so worn out and just tired lately. I wonder what is wrong with me...
I've been trying really hard to pay attention but i just can't, somehow i always end up sleeping! Red Bull doesn't help :/
Just hope i can do fine for my grades...
I've also been pretty strict on myself with a diet, maybe im just grumpy cause i don't get enough food! lol.
I wish i knew what to do about problems sometimes, it would really help...
-Crowd cheer!-
What an awesome experience, although it could have been better if it wasn't a public holiday... Kept nearly crashing into people >_<
But learning how to ride a bike is like learning how to work hard the right way...
1. You must give yourself a kick off the ground.
2. You must take the second step.
3. You must keep balance.
4. You must always look forward to your goal.
How awesome is that? haha!
After having fun at East Coast Park i hurried down to City Hall to meet up with another bunch of people.
Played board games and ate at JustAcia. Plenty of entertainment for the night!
Tiring day... but it does help to keep my mind off things. Tomorrow i'll be playing Tchoukball again! Hope i can learn a few things before heading down to play with those kids from APS!
Sigh, i've been feeling so worn out and just tired lately. I wonder what is wrong with me...
I've been trying really hard to pay attention but i just can't, somehow i always end up sleeping! Red Bull doesn't help :/
Just hope i can do fine for my grades...
I've also been pretty strict on myself with a diet, maybe im just grumpy cause i don't get enough food! lol.
I wish i knew what to do about problems sometimes, it would really help...
Monday, 16 May 2011
The Second Try.
Hey guys,
So with the suggestion from a friend (and a little bit of pushing -_-), i have decided to start a blog again...
Although after going through the ritual of blog creation(Why are names so hard to make??), i'm now here thinking about what to write about...
I've decided to just write an update about myself and what i've been doing for the past 4 years since i've stopped blogging ^_^
1. Am in Nanyang Polytechnic now in the course: Social Sciences(Social work)
2. I scored 14 for my L1R2B2(including cca...)
3. Im currently doing Taekwondo as a CCA in poly.
4. My current favourite food is Thai Basil Chicken Rice or Pasta. Drink would be Barley or Water(LOL! im serious.)
5. I still play video games. I'm currently playing Starcraft 2 and Blazblue.
6. Inception->Mind=Blown.
7. I like the number 7 and the colours black, white and green.
8. I hate staying at home now.
Alright that should bring y'all back up to speed!
Recently, school's been pretty busy, i've been so stressed over all these new year 2 modules. All looking so complicated and stuff, i know i've been falling asleep in class! No excuses for me :3 But i've been trying really hard by studying quite a bit on the side so i hope i do okay...
Besides that, i've been quite bothered by quite a few things going on in my mind. I don't know if it is just me thinking too much but i can't help it. Sigh...
However i do know i have things i still need to complete before i can say "I am done with life."
So before that is all accomplished i won't go anywhere soon. hahahaa!
After that, i don't know, all depends on whether i have something worth living for...
P.S I wished life just gave me an easier time with emotions.
1. Am in Nanyang Polytechnic now in the course: Social Sciences(Social work)
2. I scored 14 for my L1R2B2(including cca...)
3. Im currently doing Taekwondo as a CCA in poly.
4. My current favourite food is Thai Basil Chicken Rice or Pasta. Drink would be Barley or Water(LOL! im serious.)
5. I still play video games. I'm currently playing Starcraft 2 and Blazblue.
6. Inception->Mind=Blown.
7. I like the number 7 and the colours black, white and green.
8. I hate staying at home now.
Alright that should bring y'all back up to speed!
Recently, school's been pretty busy, i've been so stressed over all these new year 2 modules. All looking so complicated and stuff, i know i've been falling asleep in class! No excuses for me :3 But i've been trying really hard by studying quite a bit on the side so i hope i do okay...
Besides that, i've been quite bothered by quite a few things going on in my mind. I don't know if it is just me thinking too much but i can't help it. Sigh...
However i do know i have things i still need to complete before i can say "I am done with life."
So before that is all accomplished i won't go anywhere soon. hahahaa!
After that, i don't know, all depends on whether i have something worth living for...
P.S I wished life just gave me an easier time with emotions.
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