Life sucks.

Let's all face it, Life is really just fucked up sometimes.

One day you meet the prettiest girl in your life. You two become the best of friends. You guys talk everyday.
                                                                       
                                                                              But.

One day, Life happens. She stops talking to you. You try to understand why she does it but she denies every opportunity to talk. She then flies overseas and you two never talk again. Such is Life.

                                                                           How is that fair?

People keep telling me everything Life throws at us is for a reason. Well what kind of fucked up reasoning is that?

A person that has been a SAINT for their entire life can still end up in a fatal car crash the very next day.

                                                        What reason does life have for that?

                                                                     -Start Rant-
Sometimes i give up. This is one of those times.
That i want to just throw in the towel and leave everything as it is.
I'm so tired of everything that i just want to take a break.
But not matter how much i sleep it is not ENOUGH.
I wake up every morning only to be as tired from last night.
I ask myself why these thoughts just won't stop bothering me.
I would ask someone to listen, but that never works.
Because eventually, even the nicest person will say "You have to rely on yourself","Make your own decision",etc. But sometimes i am DRAINED.  I DON'T KNOW.
I have trusted in many things in life, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.
I am seriously PISSED that something i care about right now isn't working.
Who can i really confide in? No one. Because no one will listen. No one will care. And No one will give half a fuck.

             And still, Life goes on. As clueless and insufferable as the person next to me on an MRT ride.

                                                                    -End Rant-

I'm done thinking about all these thoughts, tomorrow after a chat with my lecturer i promise i'll try to be a better person.

I'll stop falling asleep in class.
I'll stop being so emo.

And yet i don't know if this is really just how i should be like.
Quiet, private, lonely.
Sometimes i really do feel better being like that.

But i can't deny that having a few friends is a good thing.
Although the ones i have are few, they are people i can talk to without having to keep my guard up and pretend that i am constantly on laughing gas.

I hate myself.

So two-faced.

So disgusting.

Sometimes i feel that's all i've learnt about myself since i stepped into my course of study in NYP.

If  anyone is reading this, would they really say something beyond "QC, cheer up!" ?


Whatever Life, continue being ironic.